The 4 Best Books for Porn Addiction Recovery
My name is Kelly and I wanted to share my journey in hopes of helping others.
My Journey
Three years into my marriage my husband tearfully confessed his lifelong porn addiction to me. I was shocked that I had no idea and wondered how I could be so oblivious to it. I remember thinking how proud I was of my calm response, how I told him I was thankful that he told me, and how I told him we would pray together about it. I naively thought that his confession and our prayers meant it was no longer an issue. Then a few weeks later he confessed again. This time I got angry, I wondered why he couldn’t just stop, I thought maybe he didn’t really want to stop, I wondered if I could do something more (more sex, lose weight, etc), and then realized that we needed to seek help for this. But where? We were leaders in our church, and although the church sometimes talks about this, what would that look like for us going to them with this? It was scary, but we trusted our pastors and went to them for help. At first, it was helpful. They threw many books, groups, and programs our way over the next 4 years, none of which seemed to help at all unfortunately.
We heard about Blazing Grace and ordered the books but only got through a little bit of it before my husband quit.
It was disheartening because I could tell these books were unlike any others we had read and was helping. Maybe that is what scared my husband into quitting? By then his addiction had worsened, his heart had hardened, and he became a raging monster which led to physical abuse and us separating for an entire year. As if that wasn’t hard enough to endure, our church turned on us and we endured a lot of spiritual abuse from our pastors and leaders.
Feeling alone, we only had God to rely on, which thankfully is enough. During that time, I sought counsel through Blazing Grace for support. I also had a faithful friend and mentor who walked this out with me. I was able to work through forgiveness, surrender, and healing.
Over time I saw God do a miracle in my husband and eventually our marriage. We were able to resume the Blazing Grace books, do couples counseling at Blazing Grace, and best of all renew our wedding vows in a sweet ceremony with our mentors and a small group of faithful friends. We are blessed for what God has done in us, and for the help of Blazing Grace.
After 5 years of trying over a dozen books, programs, groups, and church counseling I can confidently say that Mike Genung’s books are by far the best and most helpful.
4 Porn Addiction Recovery Books that Really Work
These books can be used independently if you are single, or together if you are married. As a married couple, you will have more success if you fight this battle together.
Here is a list of books I recommend, a little information about each one, and why I believe they are the best porn addiction recovery books:
The Road to Grace: Finding True Freedom from the Bondage of Sexual Addiction
The Road to Grace: Finding True Freedom from the Bondage of Sexual Addiction provides biblical tools to break free from sexual sin and gets to the root issues of the heart to create lasting freedom. Mike’s willingness to so bluntly share every ugly part of his addiction was so relatable. We were comforted in knowing that we are not alone in this. His amazing testimony was very encouraging and gave us hope. We appreciated that he did not breeze past or sugar coat anything like many other books do. It made it relatable and tangible. This book is great for learning how to heal from shame, how to stop the masturbation habit, how to deal with the core issues that drive sexual sin, and how to restore a marriage that’s been scarred by it.The Wife’s Heart: Healing from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction and Adultery
The Wife’s Heart: Healing from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction and Adultery, addresses the wife’s feelings of hurt and betrayal and walks her through the healing process. Often the wife’s world is rocked when she finds about her husband’s porn addiction or adultery. She questions how she didn’t know if she wasn’t good enough, who her husband really is, how many lies has he told, can she ever trust him again, will it continue to happen, can they get through this, and how can she forgive him.The Wife’s Heart addresses all those questions, helps you understand your husband, and offers real help in healing.The Road to Grace for Couples: A Workbook for Healing from Porn and Adultery
The Road to Grace for Couples: A Workbook for Healing from Porn and Adultery, helps the couple work together to rebuild their relationship. This was without a doubt the most helpful thing my husband and I did together. No other book/program offered this type of tool to bring us together is this way. It helped us to understand each other better, to create tangible goals, boundaries, consequences, and to mend what was broken. I also love that we can go back and read how far we have grown from this. And we can continue to read through it as a refresher when needed.100 Days on the Road to Grace: A Devotional for the Sexually Broken
The 100 Days on the Road to Grace: A Devotional for the Sexually Broken is such a great tool for daily encouragement, reconnecting with God or your spouse. It’s something that my husband and I continue to use independently or together as needed.
Why Other Porn Addiction Books Didn’t Work for Us
Some books we’ve tried caused more damage than help. Books that suggest the husband not confess to his wife until he’s had at least 6 months of sobriety, encourages secrecy, puts further distance in the marriage, pours salt on the wife’s wounds, and creates more distrust.
Other books we’ve tried just give you the standard “Don’t Do It” speech, but don’t give you any real tools to successfully overcome. Surprisingly, some of these books are written by men who have never even struggled with this. In my opinion, someone who has struggled in this area, but now has a significant amount of purity under their belt, are better equipped to help you overcome.
And many books are only geared towards helping the man overcome their addiction, which can leave the wife feeling isolated and wounded.
Helpful Resources to Porn Recovery for Men, Women AND Couples
We are so very grateful to have finally found something that not only worked but didn’t isolate us further as so many other programs did.
For Men
I highly recommend every man read The Road to Grace, even if you feel that you don’t struggle in this area. It’s a great tool to help others and to help prevent you from falling into it.
For men struggling, single or married, I’d also recommend the 8-Week Men’s Course, the Men’s Weekly Accountability Group, and/or porn addiction counseling (individually or as a couple) that Blazing Grace offers.
All are done by phone so you can do it from anywhere.
For Wives
And for the wives that have husbands battling this, I would really encourage you to read The Wife’s Heart, join the Wife’s Heart Support Group, 8-Week Wife’s Course, and/orporn addiction counseling that Blazing Grace offers, even if your husband is not ready to do anything yet. It will help you gain an understanding, walk you through forgiveness, healing, offer encouragement, support, and give you strength.
For Couples
When you are ready to fight this battle together as a couple, I can’t recommend The Road to Grace for Couples Workbook enough! I’d also suggest doing The 100 Days on the Road to Grace Devotional together as well.
I hope my testimony has given you hope and encouragement. Don’t let the enemy win this battle. God is bigger and can redeem you and your relationships.
God bless you and be with you,
Kelly Norris